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Shit My Dad Says

Author: Justin Halpern
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
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'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me…' Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost one million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says… ‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’ ‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present… Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’ ‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’ ‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’ ‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’


More Shit My Dad Says

Author: Justin Halpern
Publisher: Pan Macmillan
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‘Human beings fear the unknown. So, whatever's freaking you out, grab it by the balls and say hello. Then it ain't the unknown anymore and it ain't scary. Or I guess it could be a sh*tload scarier’ Sam Halpern Soon after Sh*t My Dad Says began to take off, comic writer Justin Halpern decided to take the plunge and propose to his then girlfriend. But before doing so, he asked his dad's advice, which was very, very simple (and surprisingly clean): 'Just take a day to think about it.' This book is the story of that trip down memory lane, a toe-curlingly honest pilgrim’s progress of teenage relationships, sex and love by one of the funniest writers at work today. Sh*t people say about Justin Halpern: ‘Ridiculously hilarious’ Chelsea Handler ‘Shoot-beer-out-your-nose funny’ Maxim ‘Funny, silly, honest, lively and fresh’ Sunday Times


Sh T My Dad Says

Author: Justin Halpern
Publisher: Harper Entertainment
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A Shit Storm

Author: Lisa Gillis
Publisher: Rock Star Reads
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I’m Tristan Loren aka J.J. aka son of Jackal’s Jack Storm and I have two problems right now—don’t laugh. College is about to begin, and I don’t want to go. Also, I’ve somehow graduated high school a virgin. Tristan Loren is the first to admit he’s lived a privileged life. However, the top schools, the best games and phones and cars, the finest of whatever his heart desired has come with strangers yelling for his attention and camera flashes in his face. Even when his father retires the rock star life and moves the family from L.A., their lives are rarely incognito. His classmates have visions of college life in the fall following senior year, while his fantasy is a normal existence. Whatever normalcy is, he’s sure it’s not graduating with honors--and his virginity. Aside from having a paranoid mom who has made it her mission to see that he’s never alone with a girl, he wants his first time to be with someone who doesn’t know him as Jack Storm-of-the-multi-platinum-Jackal Junior. Chasing the vision of a woman and a world who doesn’t know of him takes him from the sunshiny suburbs of Dallas to the snowy streets of Detroit. Getting his V card swiped and finding his own identity comes with an entirely different price tag. A Shit Storm can stand alone but for fans of Six Silver Strings Series, this novel is the first in the E-String Set and includes scenes with characters from G-Strings and D-Strings with several appearances of Jack and Marissa Storm.


The Case of Billy B

Author: Cindy Vine
Publisher: Cindy van den Heuvel
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A young boy and his father encounter immense challenges as they struggle to find love and acceptance in an unforgiving world. Abandoned by his own mother, rejected by all but his loving father, Billy B is thrust into a silent hell alone, branded a freak and a misfit. Billy becomes the ultimate life spectator in a game of survival. Who can he count on to save him, when all seems lost?


The Shit La Merda

Author: Cristian Ceresoli
Publisher: Oberon Books
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You have to laugh. It is a tragedy in three movements: The Thighs, The Dick, The Fame and a counter-movement: Italy. An actress creates a physical and vocal mask challenging a provocative, scandalous and beastly text. Words might be sung, howled and shrieked but a chant never emerges. In her naked physicality she tells a personal story in an unbroken flow of thoughts/words rendered as sounds and movement. The deafening screams being choked. Appeased. Imploded. This female onstage offers herself up in a feast, ready to be torn apart by anyone. A poetic piece born of the flesh that returns to the flesh, captured in a tightly-sealed aesthetic. Applause required. The Shit is driven by a desperate attempt to pull ourselves out of the mud, the latest products of the cultural genocide aptly described by Pasolini since the modern consumer society began taking form. A totalitarianism, according to Pasolini, even more repressive than the one of the Fascist era, because it's capable of crushing us softly. Si deve ridere. E' una tragedia in tre tempi: Le Cosce, Il Cazzo, La Fama e un controtempo: L Italia. Nella sua nudità e intimità pubblica, l'attrice costruisce una maschera fisica/vocale sfidando un testo scandaloso, provocatorio e rabbioso. La scrittura è cantabile, ma il canto non emerge mai, ed è invece preponderante la chiave dell invettiva, del grido, del corpo che sussulta la sua storia personale in un flusso di pensieri/parole raccontati come suoni. Strazianti. Urla assordanti e contratte. Sopite. Implose. La femmina si offre dal vivo come in un banchetto, pronta a venire sbranata da tutti. Una partitura poetica che nasce così dalla carne e alla carne ritorna, pur dentro a una rigidissima confezione estetica. Applausi obbligatori. La Merda ha come spinta propulsiva il disperato tentativo di districarsi da un pantano o fango, ultimi prodotti di quel genocidio culturale di cui scrisse e parlò Pier Paolo Pasolini all affacciarsi della società dei consumi. Quel totalitarismo, secondo Pasolini, ancor più duro di quello fascista poiché capace di annientarci con dolcezza.


Hipster Chick

Author: Stuart Stutzman
Publisher: Nowadays Orange Productions LLC
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Size: 16,85 MB
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Follow Matthew and Katie on their adventures involving hippies, love, and of course, Rock Band.


Because Shit Happened

Author: Harsh Snehanshu
Publisher: Random House India
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On a fateful winter day, Amol Sabharwal, co-founder of one of the most ambitious start-up ventures in the country, yourquote.in, decides to quit. What makes Amol quit his own business venture just when it is on the brink of raising its first round of funding? Harsh Snehanshu, bestselling author of Oops! I Fell in Love! gives us an insider’s peek into the big, bad entrepreneurial world of fame, betrayal, lust for power, greed, and unethical business practices. Based on the real-life story of the start-up that the author co-founded in 2010, Because Shit Happened will tell you what NOT to do in a start-up.


The Unraveling of the Rug Merchants

Author: Janice Zalewski
Publisher: Xlibris Corporation
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Her head is spinning faster than a whirling dervishs. Yet, Christen, the owner of the Galleria Persian Arts in the New Orleans iconic French Quarter, is caught up in doing what is fun versus doing what is right. Her intuition is good; it tells her that this man might be trouble. He looks like Omar Shariff, knows Persian rugs, and acts like he can sell a lot of them. Her sensual nature wants to hire him on the spot. Her Catholic Blessed Mother upbringing cautions her to be careful. The Unraveling of the Rug Merchants recounts the undoing of 44- year-old Polish Catholic Christen Janizeski, by hiring Jamshid Khafezi, an exiled Sufi mystic and Moslem rug merchant as her manager. Booklovers take a metaphorical magic carpet ride around the Islamic World where they are privy to honest bohemian introspective chit chat from paradoxical cultural perspectives. They meet exotic characters when they are taken into native homes and bustling bazaars where they listen in on indigenous conversations and intuit the consequence of forbidden love and sexual intrigue. Readers witness a collision of remarkable characters and worlds as this is at once an extraordinary story of two people who are about to discover who they really are and an unforgettable look into the impact of poor Ohio Valley coal mining country and the stunning culture of Islam.


Playground

Author: 50 Cent
Publisher: Penguin
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Thirteen-year-old Butterball doesn't have much going for him. He's teased mercilessly about his weight. He hates the Long Island suburb his mom moved them to and wishes he still lived with his dad in the city. And now he's stuck talking to a totally out-of-touch therapist named Liz. Liz tries to uncover what happened that day on the playground - a day that landed one kid in the hospital and Butterball in detention. Butterball refuses to let her in on the truth, and while he evades her questions, he takes readers on a journey through the moments that made him into the playground bully he is today. This devastating yet ultimately redemptive story is told in voice-driven prose and accented with drawings and photographs, making it a natural successor to The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian. Loosely inspired by 50 Cent's own adolescence, and written with his fourteen-year-old son in mind, Playground is sure to captivate wide attention - and spark intense discussion.