Forget boring mojitos, put down that tired cosmopolitan, and stop sipping that ridiculous appletini! It's time to embrace Old Man Drinks the cocktails your grandfather would remember from his nights on the town, way back during the Eisenhower administration. Here you'll find histories and recipes for Old-Fashioneds, Sidecars, Clover Clubs, Rusty Nails, Hot Toddys, Monte Carlos, and more than 60 other vintage cocktails. Accompanying the text are evocative black-and-white photographs of real old men enjoying their beverages of choice and dispensing such timeless words of wisdom as 'I'm gonna die some day, so I may as well drink' and 'I've taken an involuntary vow of celibacy.' Pull up a stool, break out the pickled eggs, and get ready for a round of Old Man Drinks!
With universal appeal, these jokes are always great ice-breakers and sure to bring on fits of laughter. Filled with some old ones, some new ones, and even some blue ones, A Guy Goes into a Bar . . . contains the best of the best jokes on the classic topic: drinking in bars.
The original CliffsNotes study guides offer expert commentary on major themes, plots, characters, literary devices, and historical background. The latest generation of titles in this series also feature glossaries and visual elements that complement the classic, familiar format. CliffsNotes on Hemingway's Short Stories covers the best of Ernest Hemingway’s short-story output. The first writer to define a distinctly American literature, Hemingway wrote himself into most of his fiction. A man's man, Hemingway writes of adventures in Africa and the World Wars, as well as grand hunting and fishing expeditions. Both critically successful and popular, "Papa" Hemingway paints an American landscape with words, creating masterpieces of style and voice for his readers. With CliffsNotes on Hemingway's Short Stories, you get summaries, commentary, critical essays, character studies, and study help on the following 12 stories: Indian Camp The Doctor and the Doctor's Wife The End of Something The Three-Day Blow The Killers A Way You'll Never Be In Another Country Big Two-HeartedRiver— Parts I & II The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber Hills Like White Elephants A Clean, Well-Lighted Place The Snows of Kilimanjaro Classic literature or modern modern-day treasure — you'll understand it all with expert information and insight from CliffsNotes study guides.
"Come one come all to the greatest show on Earth," says the ringmaster of the "Circus of Horrors." Every Halloween the town of Deadsville holds their annual "Circus of Horrors" that brings in tourist's from all over the world. This was the only real money maker for the town of Deadsville. Deadsville had one post office, one church, one store, etc., so there wasn't very much excitement in this little town. Though the town of Deadsville wasn't totally dead, hence the name. Just like everything this world has to offer in everyday life. Things can get rather boring unless you can think up new ideas that will stand out to make the tourist's want more. Deadsville's "Circus of Horrors" attendance was dwindling away because of no new exciting attractions, till one day when an old eccentric man pulled up in a dusty old van and asked to see the ringmaster of the "Circus of Horrors." The ringmaster said, "What do you want from me old man? Can't you see I'm busy right now and don't have time to be messing around this place. This better not be a waste of my time. What is it you want to show me old man." "Come here and I'll show you. I promise you won’t be disappointed,” said the excited old man. The ringmaster followed the old man to his van to see what he was raving about. The old man opened the back door of the van and the old man said "What do you think?" The ring master replied "looks like some wooden piece of furniture. You mean to tell me you interrupted my busy work schedule for this. I should have you thrown out of my circus right now." The old man yelled, "Wait! Don't leave yet, you haven't seen what this wooden structure you call a piece of furniture is. Just bear with me for just another minute and I promise you won’t be disappointed." "Well alright, make it snappy, I haven't got all day," said an angry ringmaster. "Would you believe it if I told you this will be the best main attraction at your circus by far," said the old man. "You've got to be kidding.” replied the ringmaster. "First, get a couple strong men to help me get it out of the van and I will tell you all about it," exclaimed the old man. "Look, if this is some kind of joke, you're going to be in a lot of trouble old man," said an angry ring master. The ringmaster got two of his strongest men Hector and Ugo to pull the heavy piece of wood structure out of the van." Ugo said, "Where do you want us to put it?" The ringmaster replied, "Bring it inside the tent behind you and we'll let the old man tell us why this piece of wood is going to be our main attraction this Halloween." The old man said, "Okay, are you ready ringmaster?" "I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be, you've only wasted about an hour of my time, what's a few more minutes," said a frustrated ringmaster. The old man removed the cover from the wooden structure and said, "What do you think?" The ringmaster laughed, "It's just a "guillotine," I was expecting something better than this. I think you need to leave so I can get back to work." The old man being frustrated with the ringmaster said, "I'm sorry that you feel that I've wasted your time and I see you're upset at me, but let me tell you about why this "guillotine" will be the main attraction and money maker for your "Circus of Horrors." This is no ordinary guillotine. This guillotine is from the mid-evil times and is the only one of its kind in existence, which makes this a rare find and the fact that it’s been used at every famous execution. There's more." "I'm listening old man," said the ringmaster with his arms folded together. "With this guillotine you get your own executioner," said the old man. "Where, I don't see any executioner," laughed the ringmaster. "Oh, but you will. Could I have a word with you alone?" said the old man. "Okay, Hector and Ugo, Come back in about twenty minutes?" replied the ringmaster. "Okay, old man, we're alone let’s hear it," said the ringmaster with anger in his eyes. The old man handed the ringmaster an envelope. "What's this?" said the ringmaster. "Open the envelope and read what it says to me?" said the old man. "Whoever says the incantation aloud as written in this letter word for word will receive an abundance of wealth. In order to receive an abundance of wealth, you must fulfill the Executioners demands. If not the executioner will have your head," said the old man. The ringmaster said with an excited look on his face, "What do I got to lose, just my head," as he laughed out loud. The old man said in a serious voice, "Go ahead and read the incantation and your life will be filled with riches beyond your wildest dreams."
Inspired by a troubled family history, this “book of grace and dignity . . . will be around for a long, long time” (Colum McCann, author of Let the Great World Spin). In this “terrific” novel, award-winning author Dale Peck recounts the childhood of his father, Dale Peck Sr. (Jonathan Safran Foer). Raised in poverty with seven brothers and sisters in suburban Long Island, terrorized by an abusive mother, Dale Sr.’s life changes when his alcoholic father dumps him at his uncle’s dairy farm in upstate New York. There, he begins to thrive, finding real love and connection with his Uncle Wallace and Aunt Bess. But ultimately, he is unable to outrun the chaos and violence of his old life.
The last novel Ernest Hemingway saw published, The Old Man and the Sea has proved itself to be one of the enduring works of American fiction. It is the story of an old Cuban fisherman and his supreme ordeal: a relentless, agonizing battle with a giant marlin far out in the Gulf Stream. Using the simple, powerful language of a fable, Hemingway takes the timeless themes of courage in the face of defeat and personal triumph won from loss and transforms them into a magnificent twentieth-century classic.