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The Snark Handbook Insult Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing Inc.
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A treasury of biting comebacks, insults, and sarcastic quips counsels readers on how to catch others off guard and get desired results.


The Snark Handbook

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
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Renowned snark scholar Lawrence Dorfman is back, bringing together the worlds of snark and insult. The result is nothing short of brilliant. Friend, you hold much more than a book of quotes, but so much less than a masterpiece like Crime and Punishment. Comebacks and curiosities, jokes and philosophical witticisms, all come together in this instant classic. Includes snarks such as: "You're a mouse studying to be a rat." - Wilson Mizner or "Mr. Huxley is perhaps one of those people who have to perpetrate thirty bad novels before producing a good one."- T. S. Eliot on Aldous Huxley or "He knows so little and knows it so fluently." Ellen Glasgow.


The Snark Handbook Clich s Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
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CLICHÉ: noun Etymology: French, literally, printer's stereotype, from past participle of clichér, to stereotype, of imitative origin Date: 1892 1 : a trite phrase or expression; also : the idea expressed by it 2 : a hackneyed theme, characterization, or situation 3 : something that has become overly familiar or commonplace In the words of Stephen Fry, “It is a cliché that most clichés are true, but then like most clichés, that cliché is untrue.” Clichés are like rationalizations: try going a week without using one. It can't be done! They are the hobgoblin of little minds. For most of us, once you begin to take notice, they are fingernails on a chalkboard. From Shakespeare to Shakira; in music, on television, at the movies; in the boardroom, on a conference call, online or in person, clichés have taken over the world. While some nitwits might say they're just misunderstood, they didn't start out that way. There was a time when they were new and vibrant, clever and pithy. Now they're just predictable—a vapid collection of much-too-familiar descriptions or metaphors that often replace smart conversation, speech, or writing. This book is a collection of the most overused phrases of all time. Hopefully, it'll make you laugh. Hopefully, it'll make them think. And at the end of the day, if the early bird catches the worm and the slow and steady win the race . . . Please . . . kill . . . me . . . now.


The Snark Handbook Politics and Government Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
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Another political year is upon us . . . a year in which we elect another useless figurehead to piss off the masses, confuse the classes, and, above all, reward the jackasses. It will be a time of fear, angst, and anger, the perfect moment for The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition. Filled with quotes, jokes, and timeless snarks, this brave foray into the political theater, old and new, will serve as a priceless source of sanity as you navigate the asylum. In the same inimitable style as the previous bestselling Snark titles, this timely entry is guaranteed to amuse and entertain. The wit and humor of Lawrence Dorfman shines in this collection, where he highlights the ineptitude and malice that is American democracy. You’ll see first-hand the shenanigans that started with our Founding Fathers and still continue bravely on today. Hail to the Chief!


The Snark Handbook Sex Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
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Adam said to Eve, "Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets." Funny, Lawrence Dorfman said the same thing to his publisher about The Snark Handbook series. There's a fine line between sex and snark - and we're going to exploit it for all it's worth. Think Plato and Platypus Walk Into a Bar meets The Surrender. Now Dorfman draws on his vast experiences (based mostly on a stack of old Penthouses) to give us a titillating commentary on everyone's favorite subject: sex, or the lack thereof. If The New Yorker.com said, "I'm not sure why I even opened The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition, but I'm very glad I did, because Lawrence Dorfman has assembled a heroic collection. I spent an hour in a state of catharsis, reveling in the sufficiency of the insults," just imagine the reviewer's state after an hour reading the Sex Edition! Here are sharply witty personal observations, jokes, quotations, he-said-she-said snarks, and much much more. For a taste of what's to come: "I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now." - George Carlin. "We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." - Lily Tomlin.


The Snark Handbook Parenting Edition

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
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Do we dare go after the holiest of institutions, that bastion of reverence known as Motherhood and Fatherhood? Do we take a chance ticking off the entire world? After all, we're either a mother or a father or a son or a daughter. . . . Are we, indeed, on “Shaky ground?” Have we finally gotten to the one thing that we shouldn’t poke fun at? Is the sanctity of our home life the one untouchable? Nah Throughout the ages, the one constant in literature, music, film, politics, and life has been the love/hate relationship we have with our parents or kids. Whether we’ve sucked up to them to get what we want or we’ve ignored and alienated them; family is the cornerstone for the majority of headaches that we deal with on a daily basis. We love them, we hate them, we resent them, we loathe them . . . but unfortunately, no matter what, they still show up on Thanksgiving and eat the big turkey leg. With that said, what’s a better gift for Mother's Day, Father's Day, Grandparents Day—hell any day—where you can tell your “loved ones” exactly how you feel. But one word of caution. . . . Be careful. They know all your deep, dark secrets.


The Illustrated Dictionary of Snark

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
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What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks. Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition Snark! The Herald Angels Sing The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition The Snark Handbook: Clichés Edition The Snark Handbook: Parenting Edition Isn’t that enough!?!? A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.


The Sarcasm Handbook

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
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From the author of the bestselling Snark series comes the premiere guide to satire, sneering, jeering, and mockery in their finest forms. A surviving knight of many a verbal joust, Larry Dorfman has become an expert at backhanded sass and cathartic banter. Featuring life lessons from the master himself, as well as quotes and quips by some of history’s sarcastic greats, The Sarcasm Handbook teaches readers how to deflect stupidity and express their inner dissatisfaction with a keen sensibility, hushing subtlety, and wisecrack wit. Included in these invaluable teachings are chapters on achieving the right tone, sarcastic bastards in history, as well as scenarios depicting some of the greatest moments in sarcasm. So pick up your copy today and start learning the art of disparagement through passive aggressiveness!


The Snark Bible

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Skyhorse Publishing
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"The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With his treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that's sure to change your life--or at least induce a light chuckle,"--front flap of dust jacket.


Snark The Herald Angels Sing

Author: Lawrence Dorfman
Publisher: Simon and Schuster
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Bah! Humbug! It’s that time of year again….Time to spend too much, drink too much, eat too much, smile falsely, dig down deep to try and find “good cheer,” battle crowds, try to find parking in over-crowded lots, ignore surly clerks, bartenders, waiters, valets, and parking lot attendants, all in the pursuit of that moment of happiness known throughout the world as…dun, dun, dun: the Holidays. Has there ever been a time more suited to tapping into snark? With commentary, jokes, and quotes regarding Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, New Year’s; on bad presents, worse in-laws, horrible children, and much more glorious excess. Enjoy such rotten sugar plums as: • “Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year.”—Victor Borge • “If someone screws up on their gift, there are seven more days to correct it...No awkward explanations of virgin birth...No Irving Berlin songs.”—Among the Top Ten Reasons to Love Hanukkah • “What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”—Phyllis Diller Snark, the Herald Angels Sing is destined to be a holiday classic.